Today, on the 2017 Disability Day of Mourning, I am thinking about how to guide G toward the path of advocating for the rights of the disabled. We are all about Autistic pride around here; there is no doubt that being autistic is a grand way to be. We cannot deny the challenges, though, and one of my gravest responsibilities is to teach G to recognize his needs and request support.
At 13, and being a sensitive guy, G is a bit young for the full story of why we mourn. To be honest, this is a tough subject to broach at any age, but we have to begin somewhere.
So we begin where we are. By stating categorically every single day that he is valued and loved. By making clear that those who claim to love someone would never harm them. By reminding him that he belongs to himself above all, that he has the final say in what happens to his body, by teaching him that we always begin with "No!", but have a right to physically defend ourselves if need be. We set a tone through our conversations when these stories make the news.
This is the hardest part of special needs parenting for me, but I know it has to be done. There will likely come a day when he wants or needs to move through the world without me, and I have to make sure he is equipped to do that. I don't have all of the answers, and sometimes I have to tell him so.
What I do have, is the conviction that he has the right to live in the world just as he is, and a desire to help him do just that.
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